She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
