Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
