Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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