I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
