I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
