problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I supernannyed him into submission
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
