There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
