Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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