i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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