Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
