Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My cat gives me a boner
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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