and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
