if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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