Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vagina just clenched in fear
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
