4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The air was thick with penises
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
