i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
