i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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