i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
