Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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