Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
