i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
