why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
