p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are two peas in an std pod
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
