I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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