Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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