she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my poor anus
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
