I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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