Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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