I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
