just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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