I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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