Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
