Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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