She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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