After last night, I could never be a politician.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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