turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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