Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
