love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
