dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
