They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pants are for mortals
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