careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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