You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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