is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
