I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
