Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
