I'm jealous of your bromance
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
