its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
