you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
