If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
