I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
